If you don’t know what ineptitude means, get out. Or grab a dictionary. But, I’d rather you just get out.
Let’s continue.
Last Thursday night, I should have been fulfilling my role as 21st century control freak by pre-packing everything the mover guys would pack the following day. Instead, I sat in the parking lot of a Chick-fil-a venting to one of my girlfriends about how men are complete idiots. I was feeling particularly angsty last week, especially once HCM from my “So, I Kinda, Sorta Went on a Date” post turned out not to be Hot Chicago Man but instead Hellish Crazed Maniac who couldn’t lay off the clingy text messages. But, HCM didn’t spark this post. Another guy did and he may or may not read this and I may or may not care.
“He’s known me for three months and he decides to hang out the night before I leave!?” I shouted to my friend. “It has to be age. I have to start dating older guys.”
“No, older guys can be just as dumb,” she replied.
Well there goes that hope.
We went back and forth about how men are just plain stupid. There are no fancy words. No cute phrases. No euphemisms. Just. Plain. Stupid.
I get it. Women are usually characterized as complicated, crazed, and cracked out. And, that’s because there are a handful who are while the rest of us are fully capable of exhibiting one or more of those qualities if you cross us on the wrong day or in the wrong way.
But, I really think most of us want the same simple things. We want you to talk to us like we’re human beings; not barbies, not bobbleheads and definitely not your bros. We want you to treat us like human beings. We want you to call back when you say you will. We want you to tell us we’re beautiful because yes, we are vulnerable even if we pretend we are anything but. We want consistency. We yearn for consistency. Damnit, we need consistency. We will spontaneously combust in to 1,000 teeny tiny flames if one day you love us and the next day you ignore us. We want you to ask us out. Stop saying, “Let’s hang” or “We should grab a drink” or “I don’t know; whatever you want to do.” No, really ask us out. Come up with a plan and a place and a day and a time and you will instantly be the sexiest thing to ever walk the face of this planet. We want you to ask what’s our middle name or how did we get that scar on our left hand. We want you to care and invest. Care and invest.
Because, isn’t that the basis of all human relationships? Consideration and investment. Oh, and loyalty. Oh, hallelujah, loyalty.
In the end, I ask from men the same things I ask for from women (well…almost the same things.) I ask that you engage. That you own a brain. That you use that brain. That you make me laugh. That you have something intelligent and meaningful to say and that when I respond to that intelligent and meaninful comment, you don’t keep talking about yourself. Oh em gee, some men LOVE talking about themselves. Hey, buddy, shut up. Don’t respond to everything I say with something about how amazing or successful or smart you are. I don’t give an F or an E or any other letter of the alphabet for that matter.
In the end, we’re all just people. We all want affection and attention and all those other lovey-dovey cupcakey words. We all want to be recognized and loved. We all are stitched together by unique fibers of triumph and tumult. We all want our stories to be heard and our scars to be wrapped in an ace bandage of acceptance.
It’s truly not that complicated. We’re all just people.
Xoxo,
Tyece