Monthly Archives: July 2011

Man At Heart

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If there’s anything I’ve learned in the few weeks since I left Maryland, it’s that the road to getting some action in your newfound Boston life is a bit tricky, folks.

See. There it is. That sentence right there. Sometimes, I have a little problem with being demure. Coy. Not so aggressive.

I’ve come to find out that men appreciate women who are subtle in their approach to the opposite sex. Like most human beings, men appreciate a little bit of mystery and would rather have you not spell out exactly what you’re looking for. Unfortunately, men are the same creatures who typically need to be hit over the head with a metal bat to get a hint. They aren’t masters at reading in between the lines so it doesn’t quite make sense to me why they want us to write there.

My problem, and maybe your problem too, is that when it comes to most other things in life, being upfront pays off. It’s like that old expression…the squeaky wheel gets the grease (phew, I sound like my dad breaking out the cliches.) But, it’s true. But, being an assertive (ok, maybe aggressive at times) female when it comes to men is seen as a turn off. And, right now, I’m in no position to be turning off or away anything. Trust me.

So, I guess I should provide a solution. And, maybe the solution is to play by the rules…kind of. I’ve learned not to exactly spell things out or use offensive terms such as “luck duddy” (catch the rhyme, kid?) because when you tell someone exactly what they are, straight sans chaser, it can hurt their feelings (even though it’s the truth…) So, I just try to be chill but I don’t sacrifice any of my f bombs or not-so-subtle ways. I figure if it’s a turn off, the person will move on and, if not, at least you’re getting the real me.

That’s all I’ve got for tonight. It’s 11:30pm and this old man is going to bed.

Love freely,

tY

Fountain of Youth

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So, the disclaimer here is that yes, I am going to be blogging less frequently because I’ve entered the world of adulthood. And, after 8+ hours of looking at a computer screen each day, the last thing I want to do when I get home is, well, look at a computer screen. Having said that, it’s Sunday night, I’m sitting on the floor listening to Tupac in my skivvies, and it’s time to blog.

Last week, a friend of mine put me on to this famous speech, “Wear Sunscreen.” Look it up; I don’t have time to provide hyperlinks. A lot of the lines in this commencement address stood out to me, so here goes one:

“Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.”

More and more, I try to take a step back and appreciate being young. Because, if there’s anything that the work world teaches you, it’s that you will get older, you will settle into a nice little comfortable life with a spouse and children, and you will no longer be able to make some of the reckless choices you do now. And, honest to God, that thought scares the holy beejesus out of me.

There’s no rhyme or reason to today’s post. There’s no message or bottom line. Some girls dream of their wedding day. Their gown. The venue. Their bridesmaids. But, there is something to be said for being at a point in life when all of that is a question mark. There is something to be said for the reckless love moves and the wrong decisions. There is something to be said for being young.

Love freely,

tY

Just wanted to say hello

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After a 1 month hiatus, a move 8 hours away, a new job, a computer virus, and too many life changes to keep track of, Free Love is back. And, thank God because I need it.

Today is July 5. And, in the tiny world of Tyece, that means more than just the day after a beautiful long holiday weekend. No, today is also my ex’s birthday.

So, like any human being with half a heart, the thought went through my mind…do I contact him?

Birthdays, graduations, New Years…something about special days melts our hearts and makes us want to contact people we haven’t spoken to in years. And, only a few months ago on my birthday, I remember wanting my ex to call me. It had only been a few months since our break up and I thought my birthday would be the perfect opportunity to just say hello.

Now, almost a year since our break up, I had to make the decision. And, after some thought, I decided against that lifeless and faux email that would’ve said “Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday.” Not because I have anything to prove. I did it for me. Because, at some point, we have to stop with the nonsense of “just wanting to say hi.” You never want to just say hi to an ex. In the words of Michelle Tanner, puhlease.

Women (yes, I stereotype) are infamous for “wanting to be the bigger person” and doing the things that seem nice and cordial, even though the results are sometimes awful. But, after a weekend of listening to my oldest sister’s life lessons, I realize a lot of that is just garbage and is an excuse for not living up to our true self-worth. Chances are today will come and go, my ex will turn a year older, and I will live the same way I do every single day. Nothing’s going to happen. The communication line has been closed for awhile now; no point in re-opening it just cause he’s no longer 22.

I don’t want to just say hello. After a 12 hour work day, I just want to go to bed. And that is exactly what I intend to do.

Love freely,

tY