Guest Writers Week: Define “Dating”

By: Noëlle Cuvilly

Like many others, I’m a member of a group chat composed of my circle of friends. For those that may live under a rock or just over the age of 30, a group chat is exactly what it sounds like. But that’s not what this post is about. This post is about a particular topic that was brought up in my group chat. A question that one of my girlfriends had. She asked, “What does ‘dating’ mean?”

In our group chat, which consists of seven different women with maybe 14 different personalities, we got about 100 different answers and 1 million different exceptions to 1 billion different rules that only made me realize 1 thing: there’s more than one way to skin a cat. The “cat” being dating.

My own definition of dating is when you and a person that you share a mutual, potentially romantic and probably physical attraction with, go out on the town and do stuff while getting to know one another and enjoying each other’s company. No commitment or strings. Just good, clean (or not so clean) fun. However, like I mentioned before, my definition is far from the end all, be all.

In a world where a girl can go to a fast food joint and have it her way, I find that the team who came up with Burger King’s famous slogan might have been on to something on a more universal scale. Dating, especially in your 20s, has its perks. For starters, you aren’t tied down to much and you’re allowed to change your mind as frequently as you change your twitter avi. So when it comes to defining what “dating” is, you can change your rules to suit your tastes whenever you want. Is it wrong to say that Netflix and microwave popcorn isn’t any less of a date than dinner at Mr. Chow’s? And if I’m dating, does that mean I’m limited to one gentleman’s company or can I enjoy the company of up to five different guys? Can I dabble in a little of this and maybe a bit of that, too? Do any of the these people I’m dating have to end up being my significant other? What happens if I want to sleep with one or maybe two of them? How about if I don’t want to sleep with any of them? And what if tomorrow I feel totally different about everything from today?

It’s all about your comfort zone. To quote the great Clifford Harris, “You can have whatever you like.” Somebody out there is probably on the same page as you are right now and the two of you can take a stab at this dating thing how you both want to. You’re allowed to make your own rules because it’s your own happiness that’s affected. You say, “tomato”, I say, “tomato” but when you read what I just typed, they look like the same word, right? Exactly. Just keep the ketchup fresh and my Bloody Mary cold and it’s all good. Date how you want and don’t be afraid to tweak and adjust your own rules as you travel further down this winding, confusing and often times bizarre road we call dating. You’re supposed to enjoy it, so why not enjoy it your own way?

Noëlle Cuvilly is a 23 year old creative writer from Queens, New York. With her B.A in English from Morgan State University, the self-proclaimed “cultured hoodrat” is working towards being a published author in the near future. Follow her on Twitter

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