By: Kalani Hillman

This is about me, but you may be able to relate.

I have the patience of a two year old and I have one of those, so I would know. There are just a lot of questions that need answers and I need to have them now. I always thought that wisdom (and by wisdom I mean the meaning of life) came with age but reality is paying me regular visits, bringing more riddles than resolutions. These include but are not limited to:

Will I be happy?

Will I get married?

Am I on track to achieve my goals and be rich and have everything I’ve ever wanted ever???

When will Usher choose me?

Why is Sallie Mae such a bitch?

Do women really like thumbs in their bu…nvm.

I am no longer satisfied with the assumption that all will be revealed with time. Somewhere along the line patience became a figment of my imagination and my twenties became about instant gratification. Unfortunately, few good things come from impatience. I find myself moving too fast (with some tall, FaceLikeMorrisChestnutVoiceLikeUsher type), so I can decide whether or not he is the one. Taking B12 and declaring that it does not work because my hair did not grow 12 inches in three weeks. Regretting career decisions that did not result in six-figure salaries and monthly vacations like they did for .002% of my classmates on Facebook. Being disappointed that my v-cut game is not poppin after like a week of crunches. I even read URLs before I click them because I want to know what the webpage is about before the page loads. I could never be a lion; I’d just run up to antelopes all loud, all wild like a dummy and starve because all my prey dipped after seeing me a mile away.

I need to relax. So I’ll tell myself and anyone who can relate what I tell my two-year-old almost every day: You might not be able to have it right now and that’s okay, it will be your turn soon. In the meantime, what else can you focus on to make the wait time less agonizing? Success in any aspect of life doesn’t happen overnight. It takes hard work, dedication, focus, and time. Deal with it.

Kalani is a designer and pork bacon enthusiast from Brooklyn with soft boobs and a sharp tongue. Follow her on Twitter at