I graduated two years ago which officially makes me old as fuck.

I’ve deemed it an annual tradition to dispel heaps of unnecessary advice in the form of a “commencement speech” on my blog. Each May, I reflect on the good, the bad and the ugly from the past year and how much more I wish I knew when I walked that stage in glitter pumps. (Who decided those were an acceptable form of footwear?)

But, as I started toying with the ideas for this year’s post, I originally found myself at a loss for words. I’ve been grinding away in the egotistical world of corporate America for long enough that I am unfazed, a bit jaded and immune to all the ”follow your dreams” rhetoric. I’ve grown accustomed to having a stable bedtime; I do not curse the afternoon hours as they stretch in front of me at my desk (Well, not as much as I used to.) I did not know what I wanted to say that would be any different or any better from what I wrote last year. So, Instead, I decided to solicit advice from my friends first, asking them, “Knowing what you know now, what would you tell yourself at college graduation?” Here are excerpts from their responses:

• “Humble yourself. The real world has this bad habit of knocking you on your ass.”–Sosseh
• “Do not jump straight into graduate school; real life experience is often worth more than a higher degree. Also if you are intent on getting a higher degree, make sure you know 110% that it is what you are passionate about, considering you will most likely be locked into it.”–Isaac
• “Calm down. I wish I had planned to travel and just enjoy my twenties a bit before jumping into the 9-5 life.”–Betty
• “Fuck the bullshit. Marry rich.”–Gu
• “Stop giving a fuck what other people think…fall down, get back up and enjoy the ride.”–Char
• “Go big and take risks. If you feel comfortable, something is wrong.”–Davon
• “You mustn’t allow your heart to steal so much of your precious time away from you. The last thing you need right now is to be in a stressful relationship. Heartache will only make the journey harder still.”–Michael
• “Whatever you expected to happen, throw it out the door!”–Alexis
• “The post graduation depression can and will get real, but you’ll get through it.”–Kerin
• “Your attitude is the one thing you can control, so take the lemons and smile while making lemonade.The adjustment period is real.”–Teonna
• “Value the nap!”–Nicole

What else could I possibly say that can augment the gems in that list? Well, this here is my damn blog so I can probably say something.

The themes in the list are common because the post-grad experience is pretty universal. Some people will go on to live these dream lives completely bankrolled by their parents; others will stack up cash in high-paying gigs. But, most people will struggle. They will fight. They will work in jobs that they aren’t crazy about. They will wince while they pay student loans. They will laugh at happy hour and cry when rent is due. Most people will, as Sosseh said, have to humble themselves. And, there is no greater lesson to extract from your twenties than humility.

This life owes you nothing. You are here; that is enough. So, cut the bullshit. No one has to take care of you or baby you or wipe your ass anymore. No one has to keep a roof over your head, pay your light bill or fix your meals. This fact should not harden you, although at times it will. It should instead make you grateful when people do those things for you. It should make you proactively carve your uncharted path in this world when people do not do those things for you. 

Do not live by default. Do not let life bulldoze over you. You’ll start seeing people like that, people who just exist. They’ll look like walking apparitions–at work, behind counters, in bars–and it will scare you shitless. They will emanate lifelessness and you will feel it. You’ll wonder how they got that way and you’ll be thankful that you are still young, fearless and acute enough to live with purpose and on purpose.  

Don’t get lost. There are going to be fewer structured timelines; your success and entire being will not adhere to a semester’s schedule. Without the anatomy of a curriculum, it will become easy to get lost. Don’t get lost in your work, don’t get lost in happy hour, don’t get lost in someone else’s life. Don’t get lost in building a career; don’t get lost trying to find yourself. Finding yourself is something that happens when you are simply living; it is not as deliberate and intentional as Julia Roberts made it seem.

Finally, surround yourself with cheap wine, good books and better people.

I’ll end the way I ended last year: take everything you just read and throw it away. One of your greatest assets as an adult is the ability to think and decide for yourself.

Xoxo

Tyece